


All Your Diction Dripping With Disdain

by mozaikmage



Series: Leftbook AU [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Post-Canon, Chatting & Messaging, Facebook, Fluff and Angst, Humor, M/M, Texting, leftbook, not that angsty though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-28
Updated: 2017-09-06
Packaged: 2018-12-21 02:55:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11934849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mozaikmage/pseuds/mozaikmage
Summary: "Tsukishima Kei’s 220-character Facebook bio reads: “Don’t talk to me.” There’s an invisible footnote appended to it that says “except if you’re a volleyball teammate or are working on a project with me or something”, but for everyone else it says “don’t talk to me.”So when Kuroo Tetsurou messages him about something he commented in a Facebook group, Kei screenshots his bio, highlights that sentence, and sends it back to him."AU in which tsukki is unreasonably popular in a specific part of Facebook and then things happenoriginally titled "Everything is Tsuffering"





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this was. very difficult.  
> major thanks to my best writer friend anjali for helping me w/this from practically start to finish and putting up w/my screaming about it despite knowing nothing about haikyuu, and [ helloyesIamtrash ](http://archiveofourown.org/users/helloyesIamtrash) for helping me figure out the plot when I messaged her out of the blue in a panic  
> I changed the title bc the original title was embarrassing. it's now a line from oxford comma by vampire weekend, which is less embarrassing. one of my close friends was in the music video for that song  
> anyway here u go

It’s not like anything happened, really.

Tsukishima Kei’s 220-character Facebook bio reads: “Don’t talk to me.” There’s an invisible footnote appended to it that says “except if you’re a volleyball teammate or are working on a project with me or something”, but for everyone else it says “don’t talk to me.”

So when Kuroo Tetsurou messages him about something he commented in a Facebook group, Kei screenshots his bio, highlights that sentence, and sends it back to him.

Kuroo: aw come on i thought we were friends :(

Tsukishima: We haven’t talked since training camp last year.

Kuroo: friendships dont have expiration dates tsukki!

Tsukishima: When did I say you could call me that?

Kuroo: pls “tsukishima” takes seven years to type out have pity on my poor tired hands

Tsukishima: And yet you spelled out every word in that longass sentence, Kuroo-san.

Kuroo: untrue! i ddn’t spell out “please”

Kuroo: so anyway your engish is rly good! 

Tsukishima: My mom’s half British, and I’m good at school in general.

Kuroo: of course you are

Kuroo: wanna do my english hw for me lol

Tsukishima: No.

Tsukishima closes his laptop and starts his math homework, determined to put the conversation out of his mind. He has sixteen year’s worth of experience at Not Thinking About Things at this point in his life, and Kuroo Tetsurou has been a thing to Not Think About for the last year or so. His messages seemed to unlock a door in Kei’s mind, though, and memories of Kuroo’s crooked smile and horrible hair float to the forefront of his mind instead of functions and limits. 

“I hate this, and also myself,” Kei says, and opens his laptop back up.

Tsukishima: What are you even majoring in anyway?

Kuroo:  ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

Kuroo: takin a bunch of random classes rn lol

Kuroo: probably gonna go with chemistry

Kuroo: but my eng lit class is fun!

Kuroo: I don’t actually need help w/english btw that was a joke

Every fiber of Kei’s being is screaming, “THIS IS A BAD IDEA,” but it’s past midnight and all of his ideas are bad ideas past midnight.

So he keeps messaging him.

Tsukishima: What have you read so far?

When he comes into morning practice the next day, dark circles under his eyes from staying up too late, Yamaguchi asks him what happened.

“I started talking to Kuroo again. Nekoma’s ex-captain,” Kei explains.

Yamaguchi looks at him.

“...until 3 am.”

Yamaguchi sighs. “Your terrible decisions are your terrible decisions to make, Tsukki,” he says. And then, softly, just loud enough for Kei to hear it: “I knew you liked him.”

“Shut up, Yamaguchi.”

“Sorry, Tsukki.” And just like that, everything’s as it was before.

 

Tsukishima Kei had joined his first big Facebook group, “this post is bad and you should feel bad” (no capital letters), over spring break, right before the start of second year, and it kind of scared him then how fast everyone decided he was The Funniest Facebook User. Now, he’s more or less used to it. So long as they don’t add him to the fan groups. Or talk about his looks. He had to change his profile picture to a dinosaur so random strangers from foreign countries would stop replying to his comments with things like “totally unrelated but ur reeeeally hot lol”. That’s not what he was here for.

Kuroo: why do you use punctuation in messenger but not on fb posts lol

Tsukishima: It makes me feel more in control.

Just admitting that makes Kei feel like he’s lost. This is approaching dangerously close to a Thing Kei Does Not Think About(TM).

Kuroo: in control of what? 

Kuroo: are you worried abt sounding stupid or something bc trust me you couldnt possibly sound stupid to me

Tsukishima: It’s nothing. Never mind.

Kuroo: ok

Kuroo: LOOK AT THIS CUTE CAT I ASW O M WAY TO LASS 

Kuroo: (picture)

Kei remembers that time at training camp, when Kuroo pushed him a bit too far, and wonders if he’s deliberately being careful with him now. The moment Kei indicates he doesn’t feel like talking about something, Kuroo backs off, changes the subject to something lighthearted, and lets him breathe. 

He hasn’t called him Tsukki since, for instance.

Kuroo’s presence in these groups doesn’t come as a huge surprise to him, really, but what does surprise Kei is how often they end up talking to each other in the comments in half a dozen different groups, or, in messenger, conversations that start with “did you see that post?”

Kuroo: (a screenshot of Kei’s comment, saying: I’m going to practice some self-care and totally disregard this post so I don’t die of hate at such a young age, thank you have a nice day)

Kuroo: you’re so different in real life and in these groups

Kuroo: it’s fascinating

Tsukishima: How am I different? You haven’t seen me in over a year, I could’ve changed completely.

Kuroo: brb asking freckles if you’d suddenly become openly nice and caring towards others, and also familiar with the concept of “self-care”

Tsukishima: “freckles”?

Kuroo: he says no, and also, what

Kuroo: does freckles know about this hobbyo f yours

Tsukishima: you mean Yamaguchi?

Tsukishima: He doesn’t use Facebook.

Tsukishima: Sometimes when he’s over I show him some of the funny posts, but I never told him about the fanclubs.

Kuroo: god those are so creepy

Kei quickly clicks through the five fan groups he knows of to make sure Kuroo’s not in them. He isn’t, but it didn’t hurt to check.

Tsukishima: Yeah.

Soon he’s messaging Kuroo during breaks in between classes (but not before school, because Kuroo’s never awake that early), and after practice, and walking home with Yamaguchi.

Yamaguchi asks him why he’s smiling at his phone like that, and the tips of Kei’s ears turn red as he says, “just Facebook stuff.” His face feels hot, but it’s summer, so everything feels hot. Obviously. He turns the screen off and shoves it in his pocket, a response half-typed out.

“Maybe I should get a Facebook, then. See what all the fuss is about,” Yamaguchi says. “We could make a group chat for the volleyball club or something.”

Kei stops walking. “That...might not be a terrible idea,” he says, and Yamaguchi beams. They start walking again. “A private Facebook group, where the managers and coaches and captains could post important information and members could ask questions and things...could be useful.”

“Why don’t you ask Kuroo-san what he thinks about it?”

Kei glares at his friend. “What do you mean, ‘ask Kuroo-san?’”

Yamaguchi shrugs. “You’re friends now, right? And he’s an ex-captain, maybe he did something like that for Nekoma. Or maybe his college volleyball team has one. Is he still playing?”

“Yeah. I guess I’ll ask him. Maybe.” They’ve reached the fork in the road where they part ways, usually, so Kei says, “See you later,” turns into his driveway, and pulls his phone out again.

Kuroo: Akaashi’s modding the rick and morty shitposting group now

Kuroo: he's never seen rick and morty. idt he knows what it is

Kuroo: but he's having fun banning everyone who makes Bad Jokes

Tsukishima: Every time I blink Akaashi’s a new mod in some other random group.

Tsukishima: Where does he find the time?

Kuroo: I guess for a guy who can handle bokuto 24/7 a few thousand angry memers are nothing 

Kuroo: not that bokuto needs to be handled! hes one of my best friends and i love him v much

Kuroo: brb telling bokuto how great he is

Kuroo doesn't message him again for a while, and something in Kei’s chest feels tight for no reason. He doesn't know how to ask the question he really wants to ask.

Tsukishima: Do you do that to all your friends? Just shower them with affection like that?

Kuroo: nah dude u gotta think about what each friend needs

Kuroo: liek how setters customize tosses for each spiker ukno

Kuroo: Kenma needs to be left alone a lot except sometimes he wants cuddles and thn i provide those

Kuroo: Yaku needs to vent a lot of the time

Kuroo: and Bokuto needs ppl to tell him they appreciate him a lot!

Tsukishima: so what do you think I need?

Kuroo doesn't respond for a few minutes, so Kei waits.

Kuroo: Validation, I think. Confirmation that what you're doing is right? Idk though still don't know you that well

Kuroo: I'll just have to get to know you better!

Tsukishima: Okay I guess. Good night

Kuroo: niiiight~

Kei realizes, when he’s trying to fall asleep that night, that he totally forgot to ask the question he’d planned to message the older boy about in the first place.

 

Soon, it’s time for training camp in Tokyo again.

Kuroo: yooooooooooooooooooo

Tsukishima: ???

Kuroo: youre coming to TOKYO

Tsukishima: yes???

Kuroo: you’ll get to see the tokyo skytree again! (picture: a regular phone tower)

Tsukishima: ah yes, recycling old jokes, the highest form of humor

Kuroo: exactly

Tsukishima: it’s a karasuno volleyball meme now. Tanaka and Nishinoya point at random objects and say “is this the Tokyo Skytree? Is THAT the Tokyo skytree?” and the first years are so confused but they go along with it anyway, and I hate them all.

Kuroo: no you don’t :)

Kuroo: also i might come by! It’s at nekoma this year and kenma’s vice captain so i need to go annoy him

Kuroo: by “annoy” i mean “make sure he doesn’t shut down bc of the combination of meeting lots of new people and having a leadership role he doesn’t rly want to have while also pretending that’s not what im doing at all”

Kuroo: #bestbffever 

Tsukishima: Hinata’ll be there, Kenma will be fine

Kuroo: aw yeah chibi-chan! almost forgot about him haha

Kuroo: how is he

Tsukishima: loud, obnoxious, better at volleyball than previously

Tsukishima: still thinks kenma’s the best thing since sliced bread

Kuroo: awwwww :)

Kuroo: that’s adorable

Tsukishima: I guess

Kuroo: you’re adorable too dw

Tsukishima: It’s not nice to lie to people’s faces, Kuroo.

Kuroo: c h  i l l

Kuroo: do you have a thing abt ur appearance or somth

Tsukishima: what do you mean by “thing?”

Kuroo: like, is it a topic i should avoid talking to you about?

Kuroo: most of my friends have at least a few subjects they Do Not Talk About(TM)

Kei thinks of the way he refers to Kuroo in his head as a Thing He Does Not Think About, and cringes slightly. 

Tsukishima: it’s fine I guess but

Tsukishima: I’m not adorable, I’m tall and mean

Kuroo: yes yes v intimidating to all the first years im sure

Kuroo types for a while, and Kei’s half-expecting a paragraph or perhaps a list of “Reasons Why Tsukishima Kei is adorable,” but instead he gets:

Kuroo: ur face is nice

Kuroo: and hasn’t anyone told you it’s rude to fish for compliments?

Tsukishima: I can see that took a lot of effort on your part.

Kuroo: cihll i didn’t want to be too weird or w/e

Tsukishima: Thanks, I guess.

Tsukishima: Good night.

Tsukishima: See you in Tokyo

Kuroo: :) :)) :))) :)))) 

It isn’t until around two AM that night, when Kei can’t fall asleep but is tired enough that his brain-to-mouth filter’s taking a break, that he unlocks his phone and sends, “you have a nice face too” to Kuroo Tetsurou.

And then, to Yamaguchi: “fuck”

Yamaguchi responds early the next morning with “there’s like 3 things you could be freakin out about I need you 2 be a little more specific if you actually want advice/support”

Tsukishima: it’s nothing forget it

Yamaguchi: I will do nothing of the sort :) but I’ll stop asking about it if you want

Tsukishima: thank you

Yamaguchi: :)

They show up at Nekoma early Sunday morning, and Kuroo’s not there. Kei pulls open their Messenger conversation, checking to see if the other boy had told him anything specific about when he’d get there, but nope.

Kuroo: I posted a new meme in void and stars pls like it and validate me

(A link to the post, which turned the words of a popular vine into a poem by adding line breaks. It has over 200 likes when Kei opens it.)

Tsukishima: I commented on it. Nice.

Kuroo: !!!

Kuroo: I’M OFFICIALLY COOL ON THE INTERNET

Kuroo: #TSUKISHIMAAPPROVED

Kuroo: no that loks dumb

Kuroo: #TSUKKIAPPROVED

Kuroo: I replied to your comment

(His reply just said #TSUKKIAPPROVED, but Tsukishima hits like on it anyway. To be polite.)

Tsukishima: I can see that, yes.

Kei’s rereading these messages instead of watching where he’s going, so it’s really all his fault when he walks straight into someone.

“Excuse me,” he mumbles, stepping to the side, but a hand reaches out and pushes him back slightly, so he’s balanced again, and then Kei’s face-to-face with the bane of his existence.

“Oh,” he says, willing himself not to blush. “Kuroo-san.” Adding - _ san  _ creates a barrier, and keeps him safe. 

“‘Sup, Tsukishima,” Kuroo says, and he grins, that lazy smile that burned itself into Kei’s memory a year ago. Kei kind of wants to die.

“How’s second year treating you? The team doing well?”

“Fine, thank you,” Kei says, stiffly, and takes another step back. “If you’ll excuse me, we’re here for training, so...”   
Kuroo nods. “Right, yeah, good luck. I’m gonna go see if Kenma needs any help.” He starts to walk away, then at the last second, turns and says, “it’s nice to see you again.”

“You too,” Kei replies, voice too soft for such a normal thing to say. The rest of Karasuno had already made their way to the gym, and he walks quickly to catch up to them.

“Did you get too distracted by Facebook again?” Yamaguchi asks, when he finally joins the rest of his team.

“I ran into Kuroo.”

Yamaguchi stares at him for a second, then laughs. “You have been  _ so _ predictable lately, Tsukki.”

“Shut up,” Kei says, and shoves him slightly for good measure.

Training camp is mostly uneventful, really. Bokuto’s not there, busy with his college volleyball team stuff, and Kuroo still has homework too so he leaves early. Those late night blocking practices they had the year before don’t happen again, not the same way. Hinata and Lev keep it up and they ask Kei to join them, but without those two, what’s the point?

He does end up practicing with them one time, but only because Akaashi was there to balance out the excessive energy of the other two.

“So what’s it like moderating so many Facebook groups?” Kei asks him, when they finish up for the night.

Akaashi shrugs. “It’s fun. What’s it like having six fan clubs dedicated to you?”

Kei blinks. “Six? I thought there were five. I only know about five.”

Akaashi shrugs again. 

“You can have one if you want,” Kei says, and Akaashi lets out a soft chuckle at that. 

Tsukishima: Akaashi deserves a fan group

Kuroo: the truest thing ive ever read

“Actually, there’s this group called Akaashi Keiji’s Personal Trashfire in which people collect screenshots of other people talking shit about me and my moderating style in various tagging groups. And then share those screenshots with me.”

“What.” That was, Kei reflects, the most amount of words he’d ever heard Akaashi say at once.

“Yeah. So it’s kind of like a fan club but instead of everyone telling me how much they like me, everyone tells me about other people disliking me.”

“That’s actually kind of sad.”

Akaashi shrugs again.

Tsukishima practices self-control and discipline, and doesn’t message Kuroo again until they’re all sprawled out on their futons getting ready to sleep. He pulls his blanket over his head to avoid his nosy teammates and types, the glow of his phone screen reflecting off his glasses and casting weird shapes of light around him.

Tsukishima: Akaashi has a receipts collecting group but no fan group??

Kuroo: blasphemy

Tsukishima: it’s weird how much easier it is to talk to him now though 

Tsukishima: because of all these groups we’re both in

Tsukishima: I haven’t messaged him one on one since nationals last year but we’ve commented on so many of the same posts and are up to date on so many of the same fb group dramas 

Kuroo: aww ;’)

Kuroo: look at u makin friends by being petty on the internet

Kuroo: I’m so proud

Tsukishima: idk if I’d call us friends

Kuroo: Dude.

Tsukishima: fine

He checks the time: 10:47 pm. Not that late, comparatively, but he can hear snores and slow, even breathing all around him, everyone exhausted by the day’s training. He takes his phone out from under the blanket, which is way too hot for this weather anyway.

Tsukishima: seriously though why doesn’t Akaashi have a fan group he’s pretty AND funny

Kuroo: omg do you ~liiike~ him

Tsukishima: What? No. 

_ I like you,  _ he thinks, and then thinks,  _ nope nope nope put that back.  _

Kuroo: it’s ok if u do

Tsukishima: I really don’t, trust me.

Kuroo: if u say so~

Kuroo: but anyway

Tsukishima: Oh wait I just remembered

Tsukishima: Does your volleyball team have a facebook group? Or did Nekoma have one?

Tsukishima: Yamaguchi suggested making a group for everyone on the team/coaches/managers just to share information we all need and stuff

Kuroo: hmmm we haven’t used those but that sounds like a great idea! Talk to your capt abt it

Tsukishima: Ennoshita’s not big on technology really.

Kuroo: oh yeah sawamura’s not your captain anymore

Kuroo: wait how idd I forget that. I literally had cofee w/him and sugawara last week

Kuroo: they’re so cute together it’s gross

Tsukishima: ...together?

There’s a pause.

Kei thinks back to last year, to every interaction his captain and vice-captain shared, and thinks:  _ How the fuck did we all miss that?  _

Kuroo: they’re dating?? I thought that was common knowledge??? Were they NOT dating lat year or osmehing????

Tsukishima: If they were, they never told us.

Kuroo: w o w

Kuroo: color me surprised 

Tsukishima: We’ve all called them mom and dad at least once but like. Yeah

Kuroo: that is less surprising

Kuroo #parentsoftheyear

The thing with those facebook groups is, because the same people are in so many of them, everyone tends to have similar opinions on political and social issues. Generally left-leaning. So of course Kuroo’s okay with gay people, if he spends so much of his time interacting with them online. Kei has no reason to feel relieved or reassured by this, but he does.

Kuroo: I can understand why they’d keep it on th dl ofc

Tsukishima: Yeah.

Tsukishima: I’m happy for them.

Kuroo: are you.............................

Tsukishima hits enter on his message as fast as possible, heart pounding, not ready for the question he was pretty sure was coming.

Tsukishima: About to fall asleep? Yes.

Tsukishima: Good night, Kuroo.

Kuroo: oh so the -san thing earlier was just a nervous reflex then ok

Tsukishima: Good night, Kuroo-/san/

Kuroo: goodnight tsukki~~~

“Ugh.”

Kei turns off his notifications and puts his phone away.

He wakes up to a string of messages, sent at...5 am?  _ What the fuck? _

Kuroo: lmao so like i have a final today and tomorrow

Kuroo: I remembered those existed I wsear

Kuroo: I just rly wanted to see you and kenma and all my other underclassmen kids

Kuroo: ...even lev but don’t tell him I said that

Kuroo: so like i g2g might come back on fri to steal your food probs wont bc eh

Kuroo: idk I didnt rly feel like id graduated until I was suddenly surrounded by high schoolers again yknow

Kuroo: and since I’m the only third year who bothered to show up it’s even more weird 

Kuroo: yeah anyway you’re cool work hard see ya

Kei’s not disappointed. He’s not. His heart is definitely not sinking and he definitely doesn’t care at all that he only ended up seeing Kuroo Tetsurou for five awkward seconds. “Have a safe trip back,” he types. He turns his phone off entirely after that. To focus on volleyball.

“Oh look, Tsukishima’s reverted back to his first-year self,” Tanaka says when he joins the team at breakfast that morning.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Kei scowls.

“Angry tall child who thinks he’s better than everyone,” Hinata says, and then ducks to avoid Kei smacking him. 

“Seriously though, you’ve been less” - Hinata does his best impression of what could possibly be a tiger, growling and curling his hands into claws- “lately. But today you’re pissed again. Did something happen?”

“No,” says Kei shortly, and changes the subject.

Nothing happened. Nothing changed. He’s  _ fine.  _

After the training camp Yamaguchi messages him.

Yamaguchi: friendly reminder that if you need to talk about your problems w/someone I’m here for you :)

Yamaguchi: by friendly reminder I mean tell me what your deal is or I won’t walk to school w/you anymore :) :) :)

No one does vaguely threatening smiley faces like Yamaguchi.

Tsukishima: oh dear. what ever shall I do for that 15 minute period of my day?

Tsukishima: there is no deal, I am totally fine, I promise I’ll talk to you when I have to

Yamaguchi: :/

Tsukishima: I’m not ready to talk about it yet, okay?

Yamaguchi: alright.

And for a while, nothing changes. Kei goes to school, plays volleyball, hangs out with Yamaguchi, and talks to Kuroo, sometimes. Like, a few times a week at most. But always very late at night. If Kuroo notices the deliberate distance, he doesn’t bring it up.

Tsukishima: did you see that thread that’s just everyone posting their harry potter Hot Takes

Kuroo: yES AND I LOVE IT

Tsukishima: I don’t remember a lot of the english terms for this thing but I read all the books when I was a kid

Kuroo: ufkcin same do you have any idea how much I wanted to be a cat animagus like mcgonnagle

Kuroo: macgonagall  
Kuroo: i have no fuckin idea how that’s spelled and also don’t care

Tsukishima: I was harry potter for a costume party once in elementary school, because glasses

Kuroo: !!! tsukki. please tell me there are pictures. 

Tsukishima: idk maybe somewhere

Kuroo: what’s your Harry Potter Hot Take

Tsukishima: the movies should’ve been made after all the books were released so they could foreshadow things properly

Kuroo: not very hot as far as takes go but I agree

Kuroo: personally I firmly believe that last book had way too much camping and way too many good charcaters dying

Tsukishima: extremely true

Kuroo: also, remus lupin and tonks should never have gotten together

Tsukishima: yes

Kuroo: like I don’t trust jkr to write good gay shit but also. sirius and remus should have been gay.

Tsukishima: ...I don’t have an opinion on this.

Tsukishima: wow that thread has over a thousand comments on it now...

Tsukishima: and I have school tomorrow....

Kuroo: good night tsukki~

Kuroo: but actuallly go to sleep or i’ll call yamaguchi and ask him to guilt-trip you

Tsukishima: kuroo don’t wake him up because of harry potter discourse that’s just cruel and unnecessary

Tsukishima: good night

 

“Are you ever going to tell Kuroo?” Yamaguchi asks during lunch. They’re eating in the back of the classroom, talking quietly, like always. The spring high preliminaries had come and gone, and winter was around the corner. It’s been a few months since Kuroo first messaged him. Not that he’s keeping track or anything. The other volleyball second-years were practicing in the gym during lunch, because they were single-minded idiots, but Kei enjoys just sitting down and eating like a normal person sometimes.

“Tell Kuroo what?” 

“That you’re in love with him.” Yamaguchi says this as matter-of-factly as if he were describing the weather.

Kei chokes on his strawberry soda. “Fuck. I’m not-- what? No. Stop.”

Yamaguchi nods, completely unconvinced. “If you say so, Tsukki.”

“Seriously, I’m not  _ in love _ with anyone.”

“Of course you’re not.”  Yamaguchi claps his hands and, like a true friend, changes the subject to something that’ll let Kei’s heart rate slow down to a normal human level. “So, college visits! We should start doing those soon!”

“We really don’t need to visit colleges...”

“It’d be fun. And a valid excuse to see a certain someone.” Yamaguchi smirks. 

“Shut up, Yamaguchi.”

“Sorry, Tsukki.”

“We could also see Suga-san and Daichi-san,” Yamaguchi mentions, and Kei suddenly feels less like his best friend intends to throw him to the metaphorical wolves.

So that’s what they do. They splurge on shinkansen tickets and get into Tokyo early one Saturday morning, with plans to see some colleges, spend the night at Yamaguchi’s aunt’s apartment, then see more colleges and go home.

Tokyo doesn’t feel overwhelming, to Kei, even though it’s bigger and more crowded than Miyagi. The streets are wide and the buildings are never as tall as they are in his memories, and it’s nice to be able to walk into a subway station and be able to go anywhere and do anything just by tapping a card against a sensor. 

Kei doesn’t tell Kuroo he’s visiting universities in Tokyo. Kei does not plan on running into Kuroo while visiting universities in Tokyo. If asked, Tsukishima Kei would claim total ignorance of which university Kuroo even went to. Even though it’s on Kuroo’s Facebook profile.

In retrospect, though, he probably should’ve expected that if Kuroo regularly hangs out with the former Karasuno third years, that means he either goes to the same college as them, or somewhere nearby. And if Kei’s interested in checking out the volleyball team of any school he’s applying to, it’s a given he’ll run into someone he recognizes from previous volleyball related events. He sees a lot of people that look kind of familiar, at least.

So really, he shouldn’t have been surprised to be led into a college gym by a smiley tour guide and see Kuroo Tetsurou behind a volleyball net.

Kei freezes. Completely unable to move.  _ Is this what a heart attack feels like,  _ he thinks, distantly, because everything seems to be moving slower and the only thing he can focus on is the look of shock in Kuroo’s face.

They stand there and stare at each other, and then a volleyball hits Kuroo in the side of the head and he swears. That breaks the spell.

“Hey,” Kuroo says, quietly, as the tour guide continues talking, oblivious to the scene behind her.

“Hey,” Kei says.

“So what do you think?”

Kei shrugs. It’s a college, the third one of the day, sixth one of the weekend. They all kind of blended together by that point. The gym is nice, though, bigger than the one they practice in at Karasuno. But nothing really stood out to Kei about any of the places they’d visited. He’s still not sure what he wants to major in, even. 

“Well,” Kuroo says, and gives Kei his trademark grin. It makes Kei feel too cold and too hot at once. He blinks quickly, and hopes his face doesn’t give anything away. 

“I hope you apply here, at least.” Kuroo bounces his volleyball up and down on the ground a few times, still making eye contact, still smiling.

“I might.” Kei looks back at the tour guide, who’s started to walk to the next location.

And as they leave, Tsukishima Kei realizes something very important:  _ Yamaguchi was right. _

Kuroo: sooooo how long u here for

Tsukishima: I’m taking the train back home in a few hours.

Kuroo: lame

Kuroo: wanna hang out until then?

Tsukishima: Sorry, have to meet with volleyball coaches

Kuroo: ah yes I remember those days

Kuroo: airght then good luck!!

“You were right,” Kei grumbles at Yamaguchi, when they’re both on the shinkansen back to Miyagi.

“I know,” his friend replies, and pats him on the shoulder. Kei slumps against him. Yamaguchi is solid and comfortable, and Kei is deeply grateful for his existence.

“I should just block him and focus on studying and volleyball.”

“But that would make you miserable, and then you wouldn’t be able to do either of those things very well,” Yamaguchi points out.

“Ugh.”

Kuroo: you know english have you ever read evelyn hope by robert browning it’s a poem we have to read for this class and I have such mixed feelings abt it

Kuroo: bcl ike IT’S SO CREEPY the premise is a teenage girl died and this old dude is imaginig how they couldeve been the worlds greatest romance if only their lives intertwined

Kuroo: but it’s also??? sO PRETTY??/

Kuroo: like if someone posted this to void and stars I’d start a fight in the comments section because yeah while it technically could fit the group description it’S ALSO GOOD SO WHATEVEr

Kuroo: like look @ this

Kuroo: “The good stars met in your horoscope,

Kuroo: Made you of spirit, fire and dew—”

Kuroo: like G OD relatable content rigHT THERE

Tsukishima: ??? are you...actually that self-absorbed? Or??

Kuroo: oh lmao not talking about /myself/ no it just. reminded me of somene I know

Tsukishima: it’s 1:30 on a school night so I’ll read the full thing later

Kuroo: “There, that is our secret: go to sleep!

Kuroo:  You will wake, and remember, and understand.”

Tsukishima: Good night.

“He quoted poetry at me,” Kei tells Yamaguchi the next morning, and Yamaguchi sighs and shakes his head a little.

Being aware of his feelings, Kei quickly learns, is horrible. He feels like he constantly needs to hold himself back from accidentally saying or doing something that oversteps an invisible line. He’d be going about his business and suddenly someone would say something or do something that’d make him think, “I wonder what Kuroo would say about this,” and it’d be like getting hit by a volleyball to the face.

He really wants to see Kuroo in person again, but he has no idea what he would do if he did.

They exchange polite and cheerful messages on Christmas and New Year’s day, and Karasuno makes it through the spring high tournament, and nothing really changes even though they keep talking, almost every day.

It’s Valentine’s day before Kei knows it. Like every year, he gets an uncomfortable amount of chocolates from girls whose names he never remembers, but this year, he finds Kageyama and Yachi and Hinata and shares the chocolates with them.

“Stingyshima being generous! Who would have thought?” Hinata exclaims, and Kei throws a chocolate at his head.

“Hey, Yacchan, did you give anyone chocolates this year?” the redhead asks next. Yachi flushes and shakes her head.

“I don’t really like anyone right now,” she says with a nervous laugh. “I guess I could’ve made chocolates for the volleyball club? But then I’d have to go buy all the ingredients, and find a recipe that could work for fifteen people, and explain to my mom what I’m doing, and did Kiyoko-san make chocolates for everybody last year?” Yachi’s face is now a mask of anxiety, and everyone rushes to reassure her that no, she is not obligated to make chocolate for the entire volleyball club. Kei’s phone vibrates.

Kuroo: girl in my chem class gave me chocolate and i was so confused until I remembered it was valentine’s day today l m  a o

Kuroo: ~guess im popular~

Tsukishima: Even with that ridiculous haircut?

Kuroo: yup!!

Kuroo: I turned her down but it’s a nice ego boost lol

Tsukishima: I got a lot of chocolate today so I shared it w/the team

Kuroo: awww that’s nice of you

Tsukishima: it was pretty awkward though bc I didn’t know any of those girl’s names

Tsukishima: they were all like “you’re so cool and athletic blah blah” and I was like “....thanks....????”

Kuroo: LOL

Kuroo: amazing

Kuroo: tsukishima kei, lady-killer

Tsukishima: I used to be meaner about it but then a girl cried last year and I felt bad

Kuroo: so you do have a heart after all

Tsukishima: What is that supposed to mean?

Kei glances at the time. Their lunch break is almost over, and he doesn’t want any of his friends to look over and see this exchange on his screen. 

He checks the Facebook group called If Fedoras Had Arms, because Valentine’s day meant there’d be tons of new posts, people screenshotting creepy conversations with entitled men. One of them is so gross he comments “I died. I died because you showed me this. why would you do this to me, an innocent stranger on the internet,” and by the time classes are out for the day and he’s heading to practice, that comment has over a hundred reactions. The feeling of validation he gets at the flood of notifications is familiar and comforting, and distracts him from...other things.

Kuroo: LOOK AT THIS CAT (five pictures in a row, of a very unimpressed cat on a ledge)

Tsukishima: Nice.

Kuroo: IT LIKES ME (a blurry selfie, Kuroo petting the cat with one hand and smiling like he’d won a prize)

Tsukishima: Congratulations

Every conversation they have makes Kei feel like he’s carefully walking around a hole in the ground. Or a land mine. Something large and important deliberately left unacknowledged.

It  _ sucks.  _

But that’s how it is, for a while.

He doesn’t see Kuroo again until he has to go up to Tokyo again for entrance exams, almost a full year later. 

Kuroo: yo u’re applying here right

Tsukishima: yes

Kuroo: entrance exam’s weekend after next right

Tsukishima: Yes

Kuroo: welllll we have a spare futon so if u need a place to stay

Tsukishima: that’d be great, actually

Kuroo: :) ye!

Tsukishima: my other options were a) bothering daichi-san and suga-san, who I haven’t talked to in ages, and b) yamaguchi’s aunt, which would be even worse

Kuroo: LMAOOOO OMG

Kuroo: I think kenma’s actually going to miyagi that weekend to visit the shortie lmao

Tsukishima: convenient.

Kuroo: yeah!

Kuroo: r u just going to take the test and leave or do you wanna hang out for a while???

Kuroo: we can do tourist stuff and go to a cute animal cafe

Kuroo: I get the feeling you’re not much of an animal person but they’re rly fun I promise

Tsukishima: I’ve been to Tokyo before, Kuroo.

Kuroo: lol i know I just

Kuroo: really want you to come here

Tsukishima: Why?

Kuroo: bc I like you, duh!

(Kei’s heart stopped for half a second, and then beat double-time.)

Kuroo: we’re friends??? 

Kuroo: I’d like to think at some point you stopped replying to me out of a sense of obligation and started to talk to me because you, also, liked talking to me?

Tsukishima: I’m not a nice person...

Kuroo: shut the fuck up you care about your friends and your team no matter how much you deny it

Kuroo: ~actions speak louder than words~

Kuroo: anyway, you’re always funny, whether you’re being deliberately mean or commenting in a fb group, and you care about ppl despite pretending you don't, and are you fishing for compliments now bc come on

Tsukishima: Thanks. 

Tsukishima: Anyway, I have to pass this test first.

Kuroo: which you WILL because you kEEP TELLING ME HOW GREAT AT SCHOOL YOU ARE

Tsukishima: lol thank you

Kuroo: So I'll pick u up at the station when?

 

“You can stay with my aunt like last time, I’m sure she won’t mind,” Yamaguchi offers, but Kei says, “actually, Kuroo offered to let me crash at his dorm.”

Yamaguchi gives him a Look, one which Kei can’t immediately place. Something between disbelief, suspicion, and amusement. Maybe the sun is in his eyes. It’s almost spring again, and the walks home are slowly getting sunnier and brighter. 

“It’d be a lot more convenient,” Kei continues. The Look intensifies. “And closer to the testing site.”

“You haven’t seen him in a while,” Yamaguchi says, eventually, the weird expression on his freckled face giving way to a far more familiar look of concern.

“We’ve been talking a lot,” Kei replies, and as he does, his phone vibrates with a new Facebook message from Kuroo Tetsurou. “Speak of the devil.”

Kuroo: but actually tho when do you plan on getting here

Tsukishima: probably friday night? Around 8 at the earliest

Tsukishima: I’m done w/volleyball for the year so at least I don’t have to skip practice

Kuroo: that’s good then

Kuroo: we can get dinner at tokyo station when u arrive??

Tsukishima: that sounds great.

Kuroo: :) !!!

Kuroo: ngl I’m actually kinda nervous abt this lol

Tsukishima: I have to take a test that determines my entire future.

Kuroo: ICE COLD tsukki

Kuroo: you’ll be fine

Yamaguchi watches him type, and in a rare show of trust, Kei adjusts his phone so his friend can read the exchange over his shoulder.

“How are you feeling really, Tsukki?” he asks.

“I may die.”

“ _ Tsukki _ .” 

Meeting Kuroo at a train station is completely different from accidentally running into him in a gym, partly because this time Kei’s had two hours on the shinkansen to mentally prepare for it, partly because months and months of frequent online interactions and conversations make him feel like he knows Kuroo almost as well as he knows Yamaguchi, now. He knows that Kuroo genuinely likes college and learning new things, that he has a small circle of very close friends, that he gets emotional over poetry and cats and Kenma expressing interest in anything that isn’t a video game.

They agree to meet in front of the shinkansen gates, and Kei sees Kuroo first, leaning against a pillar and typing into his phone.

Kei carefully walks up behind him and whispers, “Boo.” Like being so close to Kuroo doesn’t give him goosebumps.

Kuroo jumps a foot in the air and says, “Tsukki!”

Kei doesn’t remember when he became okay with Kuroo calling him that, but it happened.

“Permission to take a commemorative selfie?”

Kei sighs. “Fine,” he says, but refuses to smile or in fact react in any way as Kuroo slings one arm around him and makes a peace sign, the other hand flipping the phone around to take a perfectly angled photo.

Kuroo examines the result. “Can I post this in Void and Stars? Someone started a selfie thread yesterday and it’s still going.”

“...I guess, but make sure the fan clubs don’t repost it. They’re creepy as fuck.” Kei likes Void and Stars the most, out of all the groups he’s in. It’s difficult to define exactly what kind of content they want in it, and there’s always fights about whether this author or that band is Starry enough to be made fun of, but it’s the most consistently funny and lighthearted, and the one where he gets the most likes. Akaashi’s a mod in it, and every time Kei sees him comment or ban someone he feels a rush of something like pride, like,  _ yup, that’s my friend.  _

Kuroo posts the selfie and slides his phone back into his pocket. “So... where do you want to get dinner?”

Kei shrugs.

“This is Tokyo Station. We can literally eat anything your heart could possibly desire.”

Kei shrugs again, but mostly to be annoying this time.

They end up in a tiny ramen shop, full of businessmen in suits getting dinner after work. The space is small and narrow, and they sit next to each other at the counter, knees almost touching but not quite. Too close, Kei realizes after a moment, and carefully rearranges himself so he’s facing away from Kuroo.

They order and Kei watches Kuroo drum his fingers against the wooden counter.  _ Why is he nervous,  _ Kei wonders for a fleeting second, then pushes the thought away.

“So...how’s Karasuno? Saw you guys at the Spring High a few months ago, good job. You’ve really grown a lot, all of you.”

“Hinata’s still short,” Kei protests, and Kuroo snorts. 

“You know what I meant,” he says, smiling and looking away.

Kei lets the corners of his lips quirk up, just a little, and says, “Yeah.”

Kuroo insists on paying for the dinner, and the pastries they grabbed from a stand on the way to the subway, and the subway, because “I have a paying job now and also you’re my guest.” Kei shoves some thousand-yen bills into his pocket anyway, because he’s not a freeloader.

“You never told me you had a job,” Kei says. “How do you even have time for a job, with school and volleyball?”

Kuroo tilts his head up and backwards, and smiles. “You never asked. And I work in the library on campus. Since it’s run by the school the hours work well with my schedule, and it’s really chill. Half the time I’m just looking at memes on my phone.”

“When are you not looking at memes on your phone,” Kei deadpans.

Kuroo makes a point out of pulling his phone out of his pocket and looking at it. “Holy shit, our selfie got a hundred likes on that thread.” 

His comment reads, “A rare @Tsukishima Kei spotted in Tokyo :) :) (Tsukki says please do not repost)”. The replies tag the fan groups and say variations of “OMG” and “we are so blessed on this day” and, from Akaashi, “Bokuto saw this on my phone, screamed, and then cackled for a full minute. thanks for that, I guess.” Akaashi’s comment has a dozen likes.

Kei feels his face heat up, but their train arrives and he’s grateful for the distraction. It’s fairly crowded, because Tokyo Station on a Friday is always fairly crowded, and he and Kuroo end up standing too close together again, holding the handrests for support.

“Hey, do you wanna hang out with the Owl Duo after your test tomorrow? You’re friends, right?”

“Sort of. I guess. I don’t know, I’m planning on leaving pretty soon after the test. I haven’t talked to either of them in a while, and I doubt Bokuto thinks very highly of me since I literally haven’t contacted him in any way since training camp two years ago.”

“Akaashi shows him your best comments,” Kuroo says. “I think they’re both proud of you.”

“I talk shit about niche idiocy on the internet, and strangers like it. What is there to be proud of?”

Kuroo sighs and looks up at the ceiling. “You have  _ got  _ to work on your self-esteem issues, Tsukishima,” he says, and Kei rolls his eyes.

The streets leading to campus are quiet and dark at this time of night, and Kuroo walks confidently, like he’s taken the subway home at night a million times. Kei remembers a short story he read in class once, “The Cat That Walked by Himself”. Kuroo wouldn’t walk by himself if he didn’t have to, Kei thinks, but in the stark shadows of the street lamps, with his dark hair sticking up like a punk idol, he does seem like a cat given human form. “And all places are alike to him,” Kei murmurs.

Kuroo whips around. “Did you say something?”

Kei shakes his head quickly. “So, are you majoring in chemistry still?” he asks, just to change the focus to something else.

“Yup! Minor in English lit.” Kuroo slows down very slightly, so they’re walking at the same pace. He’s standing too close again. He always is. Kei hates it and hates himself for not being able to move away. “Dude, my written English has gotten so good thanks to Facebook, it’s great. I found an American kid trying to learn Japanese and make him practice with me over messenger. My accent’s horrible if I try to speak it, but my essays are fantastic!”

“That’s awesome.”

“Do you know what you want to major in?” Kuroo asks, glancing at Kei.

Kei shrugs. “Probably biology. Or creative writing. Or computer science. I might just spin a wheel or something.”

“Well, what are you passionate about?”

Kei shrugs again. “I can figure it out later.” He is strongly in favor of pushing all future decisions as far down the line as humanly possible. He knows he’s good at everything he likes to do, he knows he can make a career out of whatever he decides to pursue. It’s just a matter of picking one.

“I guess that’s fair,” Kuroo says, and Kei senses the older boy is deliberately trying not to push him too far.

They get to the dorm building, and Kuroo gives him the grand tour: dragging him through every hall on every floor and introducing him to pretty much every person hanging out in the common areas. Kei does not remember any of their names.

“You seem popular,” Kei comments, and Kuroo laughs a little. 

“I’m good at talking to people, I guess? It’s whatever.”

Yaku sticks his head out of the door next to Kuroo and Kenma’s, and Kei’s embarrassed at how much more comfortable he feels seeing another familiar face.

“...Tsukishima, right?” Yaku says, squinting. He gives Kuroo a Look. Kuroo gives him another Look back. Kei gets the vague impression the two of them are actually telepathically communicating. 

Yaku opens his mouth like he’s going to say something, and then seemingly decides against it. “You’re taking the entrance exam here, right?” he says eventually. “Good luck, kid.” He slams the door shut.

“Thanks?” Kei says. “...That was weird.”

“Yakkun is weird,” Kuroo says, opening the door to his room. “We started out totally hating each other because we disagree on everything, ever, and now we’re basically best friends, even though he’d probably punch me if I called him that in public. Anyway, here we are.”

Even though Kuroo’s rooming with Kenma, the apartment doesn’t appear to be divided in two. It’s a big, L-shaped space with a kitchen, a sofa, and a bedroom. There’s two beds, yeah, and one is neatly made and one isn’t, but that’s the only thing that indicates two different people live in the same space. Video games, clothes, and notebooks are scattered all over. There’s a lot of red and black Nekoma gear lying around, as well as stuff from Kuroo’s college. Dirty dishes fill the sink, and cups are piled on the counter, and the grayish-blue carpet may have been vacuumed once a long, long time ago.

“Goddammit, Kenma,” Kuroo swears, and says, “Sorry, I told him to clean up before he left but I guess he had his headphones in or something. He might’ve just ignored me. Or decided this was clean enough. We usually split the chores pretty evenly but I’m more of a neat freak than he is. If Kozume Kenma could get away with never showering or cleaning anything ever again, he fucking would.” 

Kei scrunches his nose. “Gross.”

Kuroo’s folding clothes and putting away games like he does this all the time, which he probably does. “Do you want tea or something? Probably not coffee this late at night, but we have herbal tea and decaf stuff if you want?”

“No, thank you.” Kei suddenly realizes he is alone with Kuroo Tetsurou in Kuroo’s dorm room, and the enormity of that fact shoots him back into polite speech. Kuroo raises an eyebrow at the formality, but doesn’t ask questions, and Kei is grateful.

Yamaguchi: u still alive there

Tsukishima: yeah

Tsukishima: he tried to pay for everything but I didn’t let him

Yamaguchi: omg

Yamaguchi: ur hopeless.

Yamaguchi: good luck on your test tomorrow!!

Tsukishima: thank you

They set up the spare futon and Kei pulls out his last-minute review materials for the test tomorrow. He sits down on the couch and Kuroo sits down next to him with a mug of green tea.

“How many more schools are you applying to?” Kuroo asks.

“Three. This is last test, though. I’ll start getting responses next week, I think.” Kei does a few practice math problems he’s already done three times, going through the numbers mechanically, just for something to do. “I’m pretty sure I aced the other exams.” He’ll be fine, he thinks. Positive thinking is very important, or so Yamaguchi keeps telling him.

Kuroo puts a hand on his shoulder and squeezes reassuringly. “You got this, Tsukki.”

The benefit to extended contact with Kuroo, Kei reflects, is that instead of constantly feeling like he’s about to burst into flames, he only feels like that when Kuroo does shit like this. “Thank you, Kuroo-san.”

Kuroo rolls his eyes. “You don’t need to be so formal with me, Tsukki, it’s going to give me a complex. Or is this your way of telling me to back off?” He takes his hand off Kei’s shoulder and moves away, and Kei feels cold without his presence.

Kei holds his pencil tight and stares at the worksheet without seeing it. “Maybe I don’t want you to back off,” he mumbles, far too quietly and far too quickly. Kuroo doesn’t appear to notice.

Kuroo grins, and stands up. “Well! It’s probably time for bed. Your test is at 9, it’ll take you about ten minutes to walk to the testing site, set your alarm accordingly.” The door to the bathroom slams shut, and then immediately opens again. “Oh, also the dining hall on the first floor serves breakfast until 8:30 and I have guest meal swipes.” He slams the door again, and Kei can hear the sound of running water in the background.. 

“Sounds great,” Kei says, faintly.  _ This was probably the worst idea I’ve ever had in my entire life.  _

Kei refrains from texting Yamaguchi until he’s sure Kuroo’s asleep, or at least pretending to be.

Tsukishima: he sleeps shirtless please kill me

Yamaguchi: hey tsukki would u say ur

Yamaguchi: Tsuffering

(Kei snorts in spite of himself.)

Tsukishima: I regret everything about tis friendship, and actually, all friendships, ever, the concept of friends only leads to ruin for all

Yamaguchi: sorry tsukki

Yamaguchi: just focus on the test bro

Yamaguchi: don’t sabotage your future over a dumb boy with bad hair

Tsukishima: you’re right, thanks tadashi

Yamaguchi: oh shit you called me tadashi you’re really freaking out aren’t you

Tsukishima: shut up. Good night

Yamaguchi: gnight~

Honestly, he’s fairly proud of himself for keeping it together as well as he does. He doesn’t get distracted by shirtless Kuroo and gets ready for the test without doing anything horribly stupid. I deserve an award, Kei thinks, as he scrolls through his Facebook feed on autopilot. A comment he made in “comic sans kills the man” started a long thread of replies.

“Why do these people care so much about fonts,” he says flatly.

The dining hall is practically empty at 8 on a Saturday, so they find a table in the back corner. The space is very gray and white and clean, and reminds Kei more of a hospital than a place to eat food.

“Do you want to meet the volleyball team and have breakfast with them, or is that going to stress you out more?” Kuroo asks, after they’d already gotten their food. “Because they’ll probably show up here soon, which is why I picked this table so you can like hide if you want to. Um.” He eats his rice and looks at the table.

“That’s a good idea,” Kei says. “I need to review some more, anyway.” He waves his folder of notes for emphasis.

“Do you usually study while you eat?”

“Only on exam days.” He can feel Kuroo’s eyes on him, watching, and does his best not to blush.

“I can quiz you, if you want. I totally remember stuff,” Kuroo asks, and Kei laughs a little.

“It’s fine, Kuroo-san.”

Kuroo sighs dramatically. “Again with the -san,” he says, sounding personally betrayed, and Kei rolls his eyes. 

Kei’s phone vibrates, and he’s surprised to see Akaashi messaging him. 

Akaashi: kuroo told me you’re taking entrance exams. good luck

Akaashi: bokuto says good luck too. by says I mean shouts but you could have guessed that part

Akaashi: if you want to hang out or something while you’re in tokyo lmk

Tsukishima: Thank you both, Akaashi-san and Bokuto-san, but I’m planning on going home right after the exam.

Akaashi: that’s cool too

Akaashi: also if you know how to hire a hitman to kill someone in iowa please tell me

Tsukishima:................I have a lot of questions but I don’t think I want to know.

Akaashi: that’s fair

“Why does Akaashi want to kill someone in Iowa?” Kei asks, making eye contact with Kuroo for once.

“Probably internet drama. Did he message you? Does he want to hang out? What did I tell you?” Kuroo is wiggling his eyebrows and looking absolutely insufferably smug. Kei doesn’t know if he’d rather kiss him or punch him in the face. He concentrates on his breakfast.

“Next time I’m in the city, maybe. My mom’s expecting me to be home by 3.” He could call and tell her he’s running late, easily, but every second he spends with Kuroo is another second he’s about to give himself away.

“Do you want me to walk there with you? There’s signs everywhere so you probably won’t get lost by yourself, but...”

Kei rolls his eyes. “Kuroo. I’m a 3rd-year high school student, not a child. I can get to the fucking testing site by myself.” He stabs a piece of tofu with his chopstick even though the tofu did nothing to deserve it. “Were you just trying to annoy me into casual speech?”

“No, but it worked!” Kuroo has that smug look on his face again. Kei lets out a long-suffering sigh.

He takes the test. He’s pretty sure he passes.

When he gets out of the testing room, feeling drained of all energy, he sees Kuroo casually leaning against a tree and laughing at something on his phone. Kuroo waves at him enthusiastically and Kei wonders if he can pretend he doesn’t know the guy.

“Were you waiting for me?”

“What? No. Anyway, do you want to get lunch before you leave?”

Kei shrugs. “I’ll get something at the station. And I really don’t need you to waste your money on the subway just to take me there, I’m perfectly capable of navigating public transportation by myself.”

“If you insist,” Kuroo says.

Kei’s standing slightly awkwardly in front of Kuroo’s door when he makes the biggest mistake of his life.

“Thanks for this whole thing, Kuroo,” he’s saying, gesturing with his arms. “You really didn’t have to do this for me, and I really appreciate it.”

Kuroo laughs, sounding slightly nervous. “It’s really no problem, like I said.” He is, as usual, standing slightly too close.

Then Kei’s brain takes leave of his body and Tsukishima Kei leans forward and kisses the boy he’s had a crush on for like two years.

He doesn’t have a whole lot of kissing experience, but it’s not the worst kiss he’s ever had. And Kuroo, to his surprise, doesn’t push him away.

Then Kei’s brain comes back and he shoves Kuroo off him, in full panic mode. “ _ That was not supposed to happen, _ ” he says, grabs his bag, and practically runs out the door.

Tsukishima: tadashi you will not believe just how much I fucked everything up

Yamaguchi: oh, tsukki.......


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Guess what time it is?” Bokuto asks, grinning.  
> “Time for you to get a watch?” Kuroo cracks, smiling faintly.  
> Akaashi and Kenma look up from their plates with identically unamused expressions. Kuroo fights the urge to take a picture.  
> “It’s ‘make Kuroo open up about his problems’ time!’” Bokuto yells, way too loudly.

Yaku knocks on his teammate’s door that evening and says, “Hey Kuroo, do you have the chem 100 textb--”  
“YAKKUN TSUKISHIMA KISSED ME AND THEN RAN OFF,” Kuroo yells from the couch, where he is languishing. He probably wouldn’t refer to it as languishing, but that is what he’s doing.  
“--I literally did not ask. Literally. Did not ask.” Yaku walks into the kitchen and flicks the electric kettle on like he does practically every other day. The benefits of living next door to your close friends. He pulls out green tea for Kuroo and chamomile for himself, and says, “Just for the record, I hate you and your problems.”  
“Love you too. Do you want the paper textbook or the PDF?” Kuroo shouts from his room, where the paper version of the chem 100 textbook is currently supporting a wobbly table.  
“Paper.” Yaku pours the tea. Kuroo and Kenma have a set of mugs with different cats on them, and Kuroo insists each mug matches someone from Nekoma’s volleyball team. Yaku insists this is ridiculous, and makes a point never to use the mug with the angry-looking tan cat Kuroo says is Yaku’s “catsona.” The mugs he sets out now have a siamese cat and a calico on them, respectively.  
Kuroo mercifully does not throw the 500-page textbook at him and instead slams it on the counter with a sigh, and tells him all about what just happened. His phone vibrates just as he finishes talking. “And, in conclusion, I want to fucking die,” he says, showing the notification to Yaku.  
Tsukishima: I got home safe, in case you were wondering.  
Tsukishima: Sorry about. That.  
Kuroo: ah, yes, That  
Tsukishima: Can we pretend that I just said goodbye like a normal person and nothing happened and we’re still friends?  
Kuroo: If that’s what you want, then sure.

“Forward this to Kenma,” Yaku says, sipping his tea. “I am not nearly as good as analyzing people and their behavior as our pudding-haired friend. Just remember, Tsukishima’s still a kid, probably very uncomfortable with himself and his identity, and he definitely needs time to process. But you’re going to have to talk to him about it eventually.”  
“Thanks, Yakkun.”  
“Thanks for the textbook, Kuroo. Good luck with this trainwreck.” He leaves.  
When Kenma gets back, he says, without looking up from his PS Vita, “It sounds like he likes you, but doesn’t want to act on it for some reason. Could be disapproving parents, could be the distance, could be he’s just extremely emotionally repressed. Or all of the above. You’ll have to talk to him about it sometime, though.”  
Kuroo says, “I don’t want to accidentally push him away.”  
It’s fine. They still talk (but less than before), they still joke around (but not as much), and Tsukishima still makes him annoyingly happy. Except now, when Kuroo realizes that, he remembers Tsukishima’s face, that look of sheer panic when That happened, and has the immediate urge to punch something.  
Now, two months later, Kuroo is sitting at the Biweekly Best Brofriends Brunch (copyright Bokuto Koutarou) at a cafe equidistant to their respective colleges, with Bokuto, Akaashi, and Kenma, sneaking glances at his phone and wondering when Tsukishima will message him again, since it’s a Sunday and he’s more likely to be online during the day on Sundays. The cafe is vaguely plant-themed, with green walls and potted succulents on every table and in every nook and cranny. His coffee’s gone cold, and he’s not paying as much attention to his friend’s antics as usual, and, predictably, they notice.  
“Guess what time it is?” Bokuto asks, grinning.  
“Time for you to get a watch?” Kuroo cracks, smiling faintly.  
Akaashi and Kenma look up from their plates with identically unamused expressions. Kuroo fights the urge to take a picture.  
“It’s ‘make Kuroo open up about his problems’ time!’” Bokuto yells, way too loudly.  
“What problems? I have never had a problem in my life. Why can’t we bother Kenma instead?” Kuroo takes a sip of his gross cold coffee.  
Kenma locks eyes with him from across the table and says, “Kuro.”  
Kuroo looks at the ceiling, sighs, and says, “Fine. But it’s really not a big deal, okay?”  
So he tells them, Bokuto making sympathetic noises when appropriate.  
“Well, the good news is, it’s mostly his fault,” Bokuto says when Kuroo’s done. “At least, the way you’re telling it.”  
“So what am I supposed to do, then? Wait for Tsukishima to get his shit together? Is that even likely to happen? If there’s one thing I learned from talking to him so much it’s that no one is better at dodging uncomfortable questions than Tsukishima Kei.” And after The Incident, Tsukishima was even more distant, barely ever messaging Kuroo during the day and then rambling at him late at night when he was feeling vulnerable and tired. True to his word, they never brought The Incident up again.  
Akaashi pulls out his phone and quietly types for a minute, then says, “What if we got him to come to Bokuto’s party next week? I can tell him to bring Yamaguchi so he’s less freaked out.” He slides the phone across the table, and everyone crowds around to read the messages.

Akaashi: hey do you and your friends/teammates want to come down to tokyo for a party saturday? Celebrate the end of college admissions hell, see your old senpais, etc  
Akaashi: Bokuto’s hosting it  
Akaashi: you can crash with us  
Tsukishima: ...why are you inviting a bunch of high schoolers to your college party?  
Akaashi: because we’re friends and it’ll be fun?  
Akaashi: and we haven’t seen all of you in a while and would like to?  
Tsukishima: I’ll ask around, but like. Parents  
Tsukishima: Hinata probably won’t be allowed out because he bombed his Japanese test yesterday.  
Bokuto makes a distressed sound. “NOT MY BEAUTIFUL ORANGE SON,” he declares, and grabs the phone from Akaashi to reply.  
Akaashi: NOOOO PLS TELL HINATA I LOVE HIm - bokuto  
Tsukishima: Haha, will do, Bokuto-san.

“Remember when you used to call me Bokuto-san, Akaashi? That was a fun time.”  
Akaashi rolls his eyes. “If you really want me to, I can always call you Bokuto-san again.”  
“Nope! I’m just reminiscing. Anyway,” he turns to Kuroo and takes a swig of Kuroo’s gross cold coffee. “God, this coffee’s gross. ANYWAY, Plan: Get The Idiots to Talk to Each Other In Person has commenced!”  
“That’s a really long name for a plan,” Kenma yawns. “We could just refer to it as The Plan?”  
“Why do we even need a plan, oh my god,” Kuroo whispers, embarrassed, but he is clearly outnumbered on this.  
“We love you and want you to be happy, you moron,” Kenma says, in his flattest, most expressionless tone. Kuroo feels a rush of affection for all of them. He really does have awesome friends.  
“Thanks, guys.”  
“GROUP HUG!” Bokuto yells, and Akaashi and Kenma both say “no,” in the exact same tone of voice. Their protests are duly ignored, however, and the Biweekly Best Brofriends Brunch adjourns.  
By Tuesday, it is #confirmed that Tsukishima and Yamaguchi are attending The Party, and Yachi is tutoring Kageyama and Hinata in Japanese instead of going to The Party. It is also confirmed that Kuroo’s working on a partner project with Oikawa Tooru. And that Tsukishima got into college.  
Tsukishima: I got into your university.  
Kuroo: !!!! COJNGRATS  
Kuroo: proud of you n_n  
Tsukishima: please never use that emoji again  
Tsukishima: but thanks.  
Kuroo: ITS MY EMOJI I DO AHAT I WABT  
Kuroo: yw  
Kuroo: so u gonna go here or  
Tsukishima: I’m still waiting to hear back from a few places.  
Tsukishima: I’ll let you know.  
Kuroo: kk  
“Sounds like you’re a little bit in love with Tsukishima, if you ask me,” Oikawa says lightly, and the weight of what had happened crashes down on Kuroo as he shakes his head and says, “nah.”  
Kuroo and Oikawa work on their project and to Kuroo’s great relief, Oikawa is not completely useless. To Kuroo’s great despair, Oikawa continues to needle him about his supposed crush on Tsukishima. Kuroo changes the subject to Facebook groups, the great equalizer. And messages Tsukishima.

Kuroo: hey did u ever play volleyball against this kid oikawa tooru  
Tsukishima: lol  
Kuroo: waht is that supposed to men  
Tsukishima: Lol.  
Tsukishima: Tell him Kageyama says hi.

“Tsukki says to tell you Kageyama says hi, whatever that means.”  
“Tell your Tsukki I hate Kageyama and he will never replace me. Also how many slides do we need for this part?”  
“I don’t understand any of your weird life dramas, but okay.” Kuroo looks at Oikawa’s version of the powerpoint. “3 slides should be good.”  
  
Kuroo: Oikawa says “I hate kageyama and he will never replace me”  
Tsukishima: Lol.  
Kuroo: he also wants you to accept his friend request  
Tsukishima: I repeat: Lol.

“He’s not accepting your friend request, dude.”  
“LAME.”

Kuroo: kenmaaaaaa r u going to th thing  
= . =: do I have to  
Kuroo: idk do u enjoy watching me embarrass myself in front of tsukishima kei  
= . =: oh yeah  
= . =: The Plan  
= . =: will you die without me  
Kuroo: maybe  
Kuroo: I just really want him to TALK TO ME about somethin OTHER than FACEBOOK DRAMA or MEMES  
= . =: lmao  
= . =: gay  
Kuroo: I know  
= . =: ur gay  
Kuroo: I K N O W  
= . =: but fine I’ll go I can play video games in a corner anywhere  
Kuroo: thank you kenma for your support in this trying time  
= . =: your welcome  
Kuroo: *you’re  
= . =: this conversation is over.

Bokuto is pretty good at throwing parties. It’s one of the skills he would like to put on his resume if Akaashi didn’t tell him to not do that. Along with “can fit seven rice balls into mouth at once” and “spiked a volleyball into a basketball hoop one time.” The best people were invited, the best playlist was made, the best snacks and cheapest alcohol obtained.  
So Bokuto, Akaashi, Kuroo, and Kenma stood in the kitchen and checked their phones while waiting for people to show up.  
“Tsukishima says Google Maps says his ETA is in like half an hour,” Akaashi reports.  
Bokuto and Kenma nod, Bokuto using his Volleyball Captain face and Kenma his I’ve Tried To Clear This Level Five Times Already face.  
“Why are all of you treating my non-relationship drama so seriously,” Kuroo complains. “It’s embarrassing.”  
Kenma gives him a look. “Do you know what you’re like when you’re sad, Kuro? It’s terrible. Even when you’re not doing anything there’s waves of sadness coming off of you that make all your friends want to fix your problems for you, because you’re so sad. God.” He scrunches down against the back wall and pulls his phone out again, presumably to hide behind it.  
“Awwww, Kenma!” Kuroo grabs Kenma’s shoulders and yanks him into a hug.  
“I did not ask for this,” Kenma says, deadpan, but he doesn’t try to get out of it either, which is a victory.  
The doorbell rings, and Bokuto dashes off to be a good host.  
Kuroo’s not avoiding Tsukishima, because that is childish and Bokuto and Akaashi’s apartment isn’t that big. He’s just casually, coincidentally, talking to everyone but Tsukishima. Until Tsukishima nudges him in the shoulder and says, “Hey.” The jig is up.  
Tsukishima Kei looks unfairly good, Kuroo thinks. He’s wearing skinny jeans and a maroon shirt and a leather jacket? Who said he was allowed to wear a leather jacket? He’s used to seeing Tsukishima in athletic gear and school uniforms, but he is not prepared for the leather jacket.  
Kuroo did put some effort into his own outfit, but he is feeling somewhat underdressed next to Tsukishima. He shakes his head to clear it. “Hey.”  
Tsukishima’s holding a can of beer, so Kuroo gasps theatrically. “Tsukki! You’re underage! I’ve met your mother--”  
“What? No you haven’t.”  
“--I’ve met Sugawara Koushi and I never want to see his Disappointed Mom Face ever again.”  
Tsukishima lets out an undignified snort and says, “Suga-san is actually the bad influence, between him and Daichi-san.” He looks at the can of beer. “And this tastes terrible anyway, so you can have it.” He passes the can to Kuroo. It’s cold and slippery, and Kuroo would love to get blackout drunk and not remember what it feels like to interact with Tsukishima after The Incident, but...  
“I actually can’t process alcohol,” he admits, laughing uncomfortably. “Bad genes. I throw up after like, two sips. End up taking care of everyone at the end of the party, usually.”  
“That’s unfortunate.” Tsukishima takes the can back and winces slightly as he drinks from it.  
Akaashi comes over, already looking exhausted by the amount of people present. “Tsukishima-kun. How have you been?”  
“Fine, thank you,” Tsukishima says, equally politely. Which is kind of silly considering just yesterday he and Kuroo were in a group chat with Akaashi while watching him curse out a stranger in a Facebook group over American politics. Bokuto doesn’t use Facebook and probably wouldn’t understand the point of it even if he did, so Kuroo and Tsukishima have become Akaashi’s Internet Drama Friends.  
Akaashi’s phone vibrates. He looks at it, eyebrows furrowed, and hisses, “ _Jesus fucking Christ_.” In English.  
“What happened?” Kuroo asks.  
Akaashi sighs and rubs his eyes. “So, an unsavory individual in an even more unsavory Facebook group revealed in a live video stream that she is, in fact, a pedophile, which she’d joked about before but this time it was serious, and turns out this individual is not only in several of the groups I moderate, but has alt accounts that are also in these groups, and is a moderator in Thunderdome version 2 because she’s dating the founder, and now a bunch of people are coming forward with receipts of even more weird shady shit these people are up to, and I need to make sure everyone is banned from everything because _literally nobody has their shit together on this entire blue hellsite_.” He slips into English again, sounding like he’s quoting something.  
Akaashi weaves his way through the crowd over to the counter, grabs a plastic shot glass of vodka, and downs it in one gulp. “If you’ll excuse me, I have to hide in my room with my laptop and make sure the elaborately interconnected network of Facebook tagging groups doesn’t implode on itself because of these morons.” He picks up two more shot glasses, and is gone.  
Tsukishima stares. “I always thought it was Akaashi who made sure Bokuto didn’t self-destruct, but now I’m thinking it might actually be the other way around.”  
“It’s both. A symbiotic, probably too codependent to be entirely healthy, ambiguously platonic relationship.” They watch Bokuto glance around the party space and then, when he finds Akaashi, follow him to his room, carrying several water bottles and a bag of chips.  
“I think the real reason you don’t drink is so you can use long words without stumbling over them and feel superior to everyone else,” Tsukishima says, and Kuroo shoves him slightly.  
“And you wear your headphones all the time so strangers won’t talk to you,” Kuroo says.  
Tsukishima nods.  
“What do you listen to usually, anyway?”  
“Whale songs.” Tsukishima’s face is utterly impassive.  
Kuroo wonders if his stupid crush could actually be completely wiped out by this single discovery. “What?”  
“Whale songs and Kyary Pamyu Pamyu.” Tsukishima takes a sip of his drink.  
“...What?”  
“On shuffle, so I never know what’s going to play next.”  
Kuroo looks at Tsukishima for a long, painful moment, until finally, the blond’s poker face cracks and he starts laughing. Cackling, really. He’d never heard Tsukishima laugh like that before, and wonders how rare that kind of laughter is.  
“Your face...” Tsukishima gasps, still laughing, “I’m so glad you asked me this in person so I got to see that face. Priceless.”  
“I’m still reeling from this betrayal, give me a minute.” Kuroo’s laughing too, mostly out of relief that Tsukishima Kei does not have the world’s worst taste in music. “Did you plan this in advance?”  
“Maybe.” Tsukishima’s grinning. Kuroo hasn’t seen that a lot, either. Maybe it’s the alcohol. “People ask me what I’m listening to all the time, I had to come up with a good response.”  
“What’s the real answer?”  
Tsukishima shrugs.  
They wander around the room, slowly, talking about nothing and everything, about stupid things their friends have done recently, and exams, and college stuff.  
“I still don’t know what I’m gonna major in,” Tsukishima admits, when they’ve made their way back to the kitchen and gotten new drinks. “I’m pretty much good at everything I like to do. So. I don’t know which thing I’d like to do forever. Computer science would be practical,” he says, like “practical” is synonymous with “a dead thing stuck to the bottom of one’s shoe.” He glares at the floor.  
“You like dinosaurs, right? You could try paleontology. And like, I didn’t know what I was going to major in for a while either, so it’s totally normal.”  
Tsukishima looks at him sideways. “I don’t think you’re the best example of ‘totally normal,’ Kuroo.”  
Not ‘Kuroo-san’ this time, Kuroo notices, and he has to fight to squash the huge smile threatening to show up on his face. His phone vibrates.

= . =: u do realize if he leaves and you have not talked about The Incident the entire point of him even being here will be wasted  
Kuroo: kenma it is past your bedtime  
= . =: well that sure is a Lie and a Half  
= . =: talk to him so the rest of us don’t need to watch you whine 4ever after  
Kuroo: I will! But also go home if you want 2 I know you don’t rly like these things  
= . =: eh. Lazy  
= . =: and i had plenty of advance notice for this so its fine

It was getting kind of late, Kuroo notices, and his phone screen informs him that it’s actually 3 AM. The crowd of people seems thinner than it was an hour ago, and the people are getting louder and drunker. There’s a couple probably having sex on the couch. He nudges Tsukishima.  
“Akaashi set up futons in the guest bedroom for anyone staying overnight. This apartment was supposed to have four people living in it, but then two of the people just never showed up so. Guest bedroom exists.”  
“Nice of him,” Tsukishima yawns. “I wonder how that internet drama is going.”  
“I’m sure we’ll hear all about it in the morning. Although, I guess it’s technically morning now, but whatever.” Tsukishima lets out a small half-laughing noise at that, and Kuroo feels a rush of affection for him and wow they really should talk about that kiss thing before he self-destructs.  
The guest bedroom is an oasis of quiet darkness, as per Bokuto’s Party Rules: the guest bedroom is for sleeping, charging phones, and talking quietly. Everything else stays outside. This turned out to be the only reason Kenma is willing to attend Bokuto’s parties, because he can socialize for a few minutes and then play his video games in peace until whenever Kuroo wants to leave. He’s doing that now, bunched up in the far corner of the room, the glow of his PS Vita screen the brightest light source in the room, illuminating his face. He looks up when they enter and, with a tiny nod, gets up to leave. He pats Kuroo on the shoulder in a way is probably meant to be encouraging as he does so.  
Kuroo takes a few deep breaths to steady himself, and then turns the floor lamp on because it’s way too dark and there isn’t anyone else in the room anyway.  
“Tsukki,” he says. “We need to talk about the kiss.”  
Kuroo was expecting the younger boy to freeze up, or push away or something else defensive, but instead Tsukki looks up at the ceiling and says, “So everyone keeps telling me. Well by everyone I mean Yamaguchi mostly, but yeah.”  
Kuroo laughs. “Every single friend I’ve told about this had the exact same response. Supposedly communication is a good way to resolve problems?”  
“Sounds fake, but okay.” They both laugh at that, slightly tensely, but still laughing. Some of the nervous tension has faded away, now that the biggest thing has been said. Ice: broken.  
“So,” Kuroo says.  
“So.” Tsukishima looks at the floor. “I’m sorry. I have no idea what came over me then.”  
“Sorry about...?” Kuroo prompts.  
“Kissing you. Like that.” Tsukishima is still staring at the floor, which is bland and nondescript and doesn’t deserve the look it’s getting from Tsukishima.  
“Why did you?”  
“I already said I don’t know,” he snaps, glaring at Kuroo. Kuroo fights to keep himself from smiling, and they make eye contact.  
“I like you, okay?” Tsukishima gets out. He flushes immediately, and looks back down to the floor. “It’s dumb. Forget it.”  
“Tsukki. Kei,” Kuroo says, taking the blond’s face in his hands as he does so. “I like you too.”  
Tsukishima stares at him with wide, vulnerable eyes for an agonizingly long moment, until Kuroo can’t take it any more and kisses him. Softly, gently. They pull apart after a few seconds.  
“I wasn’t going to do anything about it,” Tsukishima breathes. “I was just going to distance myself slowly and move on... But I liked talking to you too much.”  
Kuroo puts an arm around him, and Tsukishima lets him. “Maybe we can make this work,” Kuroo says.   
The party is quiet now. It’s nearly five in the morning, somehow, and from their friends’ tiny balcony, two boys watch the sun rise over Tokyo, painting the city gold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> talk to me on [tumblr](http://cubistemoji.tumblr.com/) or [twitter](http://twitter.com/mashazart/)  
> also thanks anjali for making me actually finish this  
> would anyone be interested in a spinoff centered around akaashi bc I might. do that


End file.
